So this guy and I started chatting on facebook after a mutual friend introduced us to each other and I realised that I really enjoyed conversing with him. He had awesome photos of himself and his friends and family… and damn was he gorgeous!!!. We swapped email addresses and naturally phone numbers too… We planned to meet plenty of times but spontaneous plans would spoil it all. Then my ex and I broke up……………and that’s when he pounced!!!

 

We spoke for so much longer on the phone and emailed each other all most daily. I thought that he would be the perfect “prospect”. Every girl has a prospect of certain types of people in their lives… well he was my prospect of “the one”

 

He was perfect in every way…

• Gorgeous looking (extremely well groomed)
• Stunning teeth (with a cute little gap)
• Well built
• Luscious shiny hair
• Really smart – (A real genius!!!)
• Great taste in music
• Sport Fanatic
• Goal setter and achiever
• Extremely talented
• House-broken (lol)

 

So we decided to meet up one Friday night at News Café. I got there ahead of time with a few buddies of mine and we started the night… Shots of tequila, platters of assorted snacks, flaming lamborghini’s, an assortment of tropically coloured cocktails, you name it… if it was on the menu, we ordered it…

 

Eventually my blind date arrived with a couple friends too, I felt giggly and hyper!!! Maybe it was the dozen tequila shots I had earlier. So very obliviously everyone left to leave us alone to chat… he looked so shy and was so quiet. So we smiled at each other and finally started rambling randomly… by then everyone else came back and we thought that we’d go for a walk. So off we went… walking around the casino and shops….then suddenly stopped as we arrived at the entrance of the theatre…I was completely smashed!!! I knew it – and I tried very hard to hide it… So he pulled me in and seated me right next to him on the piano stool. (yeah at the time my bum wasn’t so big…lol)

 

Then he started playing the piano for me… and softly singing in my ear…man I wanted to kiss him at that point!!! *blush* The security guard rushed in and spoilt out moment… “You are not allowed to play on the piano, it is for display!!!” I could of crushed his nuts at that point but I couldn’t see straight… so we seated ourselves on the sofa’s opposite the piano and spoke some beautiful words which I can’t remember… then I moved in for a kiss… It was about time!!! I wasn’t gonna wait any longer for it… (lol you either give it to me or I take it!!!)

 

We waddled back to our table at News Café to find there were even more people at out table. I signalled to my sister that I needed to dash off to the ladies…so off we went. Slammed into a cubical, knelt over the toilet bowl and just threw up!

 

My sister cleaned me up and took me back to our table where we ordered a round of sledge hammers but how’s this for a News Café FAIL. All of the shooters we ordered for the night except the tequila shots, they had no liquor, they substituted everything!!! And I mean EVERYTHING. So we had our sledge hammers and two minutes later I needed to dash off to the ladies, this time I couldn’t even make it to the bathroom door, half-way down the passage I hurled into the public dustbin… in front of the million gamblers around me. Then quickly into the bathroom where my sister cleaned me up once again just for me to throw up again!!! Shame the poor thing… From here until I got home I don’t really remember much. I remember telling my sister in the bathroom that I don’t feel well and that I don’t wanna drink anymore (no kidding… I just threw up like 5 times!)

 

So when we went back to our table for the umpteenth time I ordered a giant glass of ice water and downed it… yeah alcohol and water don’t mix so well and this time I didn’t even leave my chair… I just turned over my left shoulder and gagged! People were staring and handing me serviettes and ordering me more water…it was scary to be a spectator and funny too.

 

Oh yes my date just in-case you forgot that this night was about us meeting, well he was right there and unfortunately not recording the performance…So pissed outta my mind little me blanked out in the time the bill was being paid… though I do remember telling my sister my debit card pin to foot the bill for this fiasco but she was scared, shocked and worried and couldn’t concentrate…so some how they all scrambled money together and my sister found some cash in my purse and paid the bill.

 

In that time my date was told to escort me to the parking lot for some air…and that’s were he made passionate love to me….lol NEVER!!! So as we’re walking out, I tell a stunning looking man that I like short fat guys!!! WTF??? I would have slapped myself if I was sober… I like short fat guys??? Really??? I didn’t know that about myself… oh and addition to my I like short fat guys comment…I said that’s why I like him!!! YEAH – Someone get me checked!!! WTF WTF WTF??? Why on earth would anyone sober or not say that to a 1.72m guy who’s a well built gym freak??? No wonder they call me Looney_Mesh.

 

So we fumble around the car park and here my mental GPS wants to tell him how to get to my friends car… we get there…don’t know how but I eventually had to describe the car to him. My sister and friend magically appear and then off I send them for KFC!!! I really wanted a twister and if you know me well enough you’d know not to mess with me drunk/sober when I’m talking food!!! So off they go…leaving my poor date alone with drunken ol’ me and my ramblings.

 

I decided to sit down then roll over on to my tummy coz I felt the need to spit… o_0 hmmm yeah next thing I was like dosing off on the pavement… How classy especially on a first date. Most guys would love to sleep with you on the first date – but watched your dated star fished out on the pavement section of the car park – yeah totally priceless!!! I remember being yanked around a bit and then tossed into the back seat of my friend’s car.

 

Next thing I was home and in my pyjama’s and wrapped up in bed. So I woke up for my KFC twister and plonked myself on the centre of my kitchen island stove counter thingy… (it’s a huge counter in the middle of the kitchen with a built-in stove) eating my twister and complaining that it’s burning my mouth… my sister and friend laughed at me, telling me it shouldn’t burn because it’s mayonnaise…but it burnt and I wouldn’t listen to them… they put away my twister and tucked me back into bed.

 

Saturday morning when I put my phone on I was shocked to see sms’s and voice messages from him checking if I’m ok. I quickly typed up a cute sms that also explained how sorry I was for my despicable behaviour. Sunday afternoon my brothers, sister and I hit the mall for some acardal fun. I called him up and said I’ll be there and he actually met me there… I was beyond shocked!!! We saw each other quiet often after that… and now I’m pleased to introduce to you my boyfriend Van Konar.

 

1. Date a guy just because his young and hot.
Who cares if hes the last person youd have on your team in a game of 30 seconds? His abs make Matthew McConaugheys look flabby and his jaw could have been carved out of marble two entirely legitimate reasons to go out with him. Just make sure you know how to let him go.

2. Collect at least six countries stamps in your passport.
That includes one from a country that, until recently, you didnt know existed. The freedom of jetting off to foreign islands on your own (or with a girlfriend) cant be beaten and once youre happily hitched, travelling to exotic locations may become tricky. So while you dont have to think about coordinating leave time with your guy or saving for a house instead of your holidays, book that trip to Azerbaijan! (Its in South-Western Asia, by the way)

3. Take charge of your money.
Before you merge your money with a mans, sign up for retirement plan and invest any extra cash you have in stocks or unit trusts. If you put good habits in place before you get married, theyll last a lifetime

4. Start a weekly pleasure ritual.
Regularly treat yourself to something you love.
Whether its a Saturday-morning yoga session or a weekly rip to the masseur, there should be at least one thing you do for yourself that makes you feel sensational.

5. Hone your signature lingerie style.
Figure out what cuts and colours look hottest on you and develop a look thats all your own. That way, your man will learn that buying a bright-pink number with tassels for your birthday is possibly not such a good idea

6. Throw blow-out bashes.
Sure, its great to have a chilled get-together with the girls, a bottle of wine and a DVD but that shouldnt be the extent of your single-girl entertaining. Before settling down, let your wild side reign. You wont regret it!

7. Spread yourself out over your entire bed.
Wed never underestimate the benefits of a good spoon session with your partner but competition for the bed space is inevitable in any relationship. You have the rest of your life to stick to your side of the bed. For now, place you pillow smack bang in the centre and make like a starfish.

8. Learn how to change a tyre and work a drill.
While its easy to relegate all those guy tasks to our man (and we cant think of any reason why you shouldnt), there is an incredible sense of power in being able to fix something yourself.

9. Spend an embarrassing amount of money on handbags and shoes.
We know theres nothing wrong with spending the equivalent of a small countrys GDP on a pair of designer heels or a fabulous bag . . . but he doesnt. Save yourself the inevitable telling off (you wouldnt let me buy a PlayStation) and splurge on arm candy and Roberto Cavallis while you can.

10. Indulge your weird food cravings.
If the only thing you feel like eating for dinner is mint ice cream and tomato-flavoured chips, do it! When you and your man live and eat together, youre less likely to indulge those bizarre but ohsosatisfying food desires.

 

Young people, and even adults, often wonder how all the varieties or “races” of people could come from the same original human ancestors. Well, in principle, that’s no different than asking how children with different colour hair (i.e., blond, brunette, brown, red) can come from the same parents who both have black hair.

 

Just as some individuals today carry genes to produce descendants with different colour hair and eyes, humanity’s first parents, Adam and Eve, possessed genes to produce all the variety and races of men. You and I today may not carry the genes to produce every variety or race of humans, but humanity’s first parents did possess such genes.

All varieties of humans carry genes for the same basic traits, but not all humans carry every possible variation of those genes. For example, one person may be carrying several variations of the gene for eye colour (i.e., brown, green, blue), but someone else may be carrying only one variation of the gene for eye colour (i.e., brown). Thus, both will have different abilities to affect the eye colour of their offspring.

Some parents with black hair, for example, are capable of producing children with blond hair, but their blond children (because they inherit only recessive genes) will not have the ability to produce children with black hair unless they mate with someone else who has black hair. If the blond descendants only mate with other blondes then the entire line and population will only be blond even though the original ancestor was black-haired.

In reality there is only one race – the human race – within which exists myriad variations and permutations.

The evidence from science shows that only microevolution (variations within a biological “kind” such as the varieties of dogs, cats, horses, cows, etc.) is possible but not macroevolution (variations across biological “kinds”, especially from simpler kinds to more complex ones). The only evolution that occurs in Nature is microevolution (or horizontal evolution) but not macroevolution (vertical evolution).

The genetic ability for microevolution exists in Nature but not the genetic ability for macroevolution. The genes (chemical and genetic instructions or programs) for microevolution exist in every species but not the genes for macroevolution. Unless Nature has the intelligence and ability to perform genetic engineering (to construct entirely new genes and not just to produce variations and new combinations of already existing genes) then macroevolution will never be possible in Nature.

By LACHLAN CARTWRIGHT and DAVID K. LI IN NEW YORK

 

An autopsy on Michael Jackson revealed that the King of Pop's emaciated body was riddled with needle marks and scars, and his head was virtually bald, it was reported today.

Jackson's body had wasted away to a mere 112 pounds, and his stomach was completely empty except for partially dissolved pills, according to the London Sun.

His hips, thighs and shoulders were covered with needle wounds, believed to have come from shots of painkillers, and he was wearing a wig when he was found because his hair had been reduced to a "peach fuzz" on his scalp, the report said.

"He was skin and bone, his hair had fallen out, and he had been eating nothing but pills when he died," a source close to the singer's entourage told the paper.

"Injection marks all over his body and the disfigurement caused by years of plastic surgery show he'd been in terminal decline for some years."

There were four fresh injections around his heart, presumably from attempts to pump adrenaline into it to jumpstart it, the paper said.

Three of them had penetrated and damaged his heart wall, while a fourth struck his ribs, the paper reported.

He also sustained several broken ribs while authorities administered CPR during his final moments Thursday.

Jackson had one spot above his left ear that was scarred and completely bald - the apparent result of burns sustained when his hair caught fire while he was filming a Pepsi commercial in 1984.

He also had numerous other scars, apparently from plastic surgery.

In addition, he had mysterious bruises on his knees and shins and cuts on his back, possibly indicating a recent fall, the paper said.

Jackson has had two autopsies performed on him: one by the Los Angeles coroner and a private one requested by the family.

The details leaked came from the official autopsy. The Sun didn't say how it got the information.

Meanwhile, the cardiologist who was Jacko's private doctor and performed CPR on him did it the wrong way, a Jackson family confidant claimed yesterday.

Dr. Conrad Murray found Jacko on the floor in his rented Los Angeles mansion and put him in a bed, the source said.

Medical experts say that compressions for cardiopulmonary resuscitation must be performed on a hard surface.

"Michael was on the floor first, and they put him on the bed, and then started compressions on the bed," said the source, who had spoken to a Jackson relative. "What kind of doctor is that?"

In a transcript of the 911 call, the person seeking help says Jackson is "on the bed." The dispatcher says, "OK, let's get him down to the floor."

Edward Chernoff, a lawyer for Murray, yesterday said the doctor found Jackson in his bed with a faint pulse.

Chernoff told The Associated Press that Murray was at the pop icon's mansion Thursday afternoon when he discovered Jackson and immediately began administering CPR.

"He just happened to find him in his bed, and he wasn't breathing," the lawyer said. "Mr. Jackson was still warm and had a pulse."

Murray, who spoke to cops for three hours on Saturday, is a licensed MD and specializes in cardiology, although he is not board-certified.

Jackson hired Murray last month as he prepared for a grueling 50-date concert series in London that had been set to start in July.

Chernoff also said Murray never prescribed or gave Jackson the powerful painkillers Demerol or OxyContin. He denied reports suggesting Murray gave Jackson an injection of Demerol shortly before his death.

"Dr. Murray has never prescribed nor administered Demerol to Michael Jackson," Chernoff said. "Not ever. Not that day. Not OxyContin for that matter."

 

Addition to one of my previous posts “Hijack survivor tells of hell boot ride”

 

 

HIJACKING, armed robbery and murder suspect George Swarts showed there is little honour among thieves as he stood outside Durban Central police station, blaming his 25-year-old lover for his facing life behind bars.

 

 

 

 

Swarts and his lover, Beryl George, made a brief appearance in the Johannesburg Magistrate’s Court on Wednesday after

Durban police arrested them late on Monday night.

 

 

The pair have been charged with the hijacking of four young men in Lenasia South.

 

 

 

 

They also face charges of kidnapping and murder. It is believed that after hijacking the four men, George, Swarts and another man forced them into their car boot, then took them on a 16-hour hell ride from Gauteng to Durban along the N3. They would periodically open the seat flaps into the boot to assault their victims and demand credit card PIN numbers.

 

 

 

 

Their accomplice — who police have not identified yet — is believed to be on the run.

 

 

 

 

After having been imprisoned in a stifling boot for 16 hours the young men escaped when their tormentors abandoned the car they were imprisoned in. After struggling to free themselves from the boot, the young men found themselves in the middle of an informal multi market in the Durban CBD. Sadly it was too late for Dexter Govender, who collapsed and was pronounced dead on the pavement after having been suffocated in the boot.

 

 

 

 

Clearly scared, Swarts spoke in a soft tone as he waited to be booked into a police cell on Tuesday morning: “I knew the police were going to come for me. The police always come after you when you do something big like this. Hey, I regret it now because I know I am going to jail. But I looked after those charous. I sat in the back seat while Beryl was in the passenger seat. It was Beryl’s idea to kill them. She kept saying that we need to get rid of them and I kept them alive. I bought them water and kept opening the flap to give them water and air. I don’t know why I went along with this. It was madness, I think. Beryl had the idea and I just went along with her. It was stupid. I don’t do drugs. I’m not mad but I can’t explain why I did this.”

 

 

 

 

Swarts asked anyone who would listen if his previous conviction for burglary would prevent him obtaining bail. “It was a suspended sentence. I burgled some black ous long ago and the sentence is over. I’m not a violent oke. When I burgled the black ous I made sure there was nobody home. I’m a peaceful oke. I have a trade, I’m a shop fitter but I haven’t worked for a while.”

 

 

 

 

Covered in crude tattoos depicting grisly scenes, Swart looks like a gangster — though he denied being a gang member or having spent time in prison. On his back he has a giant crucifix with the Grim Reaper behind it. His stomach has tattoos of various ghouls, while his shoulder and arm has a tattoo of a pair of crossed AK47 rifles on top of a skull over the name of his son, Laaic.

 

“We came to

Durban for a jol. It was Beryl’s idea. She and the other oke, they planned it all.

He had the gun and he took all the credit cards when we left him at Gateway. We left him at Gateway, took our share of some of the money we had taken from the charous, and then we left. Beryl wanted to kill the charous, but I looked after them. We drove to town and then left them in the car. They were all alive when we left. After we left them we booked into a hotel in Fisher Street. We stayed there a few days and then we moved to Beryl’s aunt’s pozzie. We were going to hand ourselves in. We wanted to go back to Jo’burg to hand ourselves over, though. We wanted to be in Jo’burg where we could be with our families.”

 

 

Swart’s version of events is completely different to that of his victims — who claim they were beaten ¬repeatedly and denied air in the stifling hot boot.

 

 

 

 

Detective Inspector Keith Caswell of the KwaZulu-Natal Provincial Project Unit’s field unit told Weekend Witness that since last Friday morning — when Dexter Govender died on the pavement — he had been on the trail of the hijackers:

 

 

 

 

“On hearing of the hijacking and murder, I tasked all my informers and sources with trying to track down the suspects. During the hijacking, the female accomplice of the hijackers used her real name and it didn’t take long to establish that a woman by that name was on the run in

Durban.”

 

 

The pair had used their real names when checking into a seedy

Fisher Street hotel, which is believed to have contributed to their arrests.

 

 

Dexter Govender and his cousins Claude and Gerard Govender and friend Justin Pillay were kidnapped from Lenasia South on Thursday night. The four men had earlier given a young woman calling herself Beryl a lift and given her their phone numbers. Shortly after dropping Beryl off, she had phoned the young men and asked them to come fetch her, saying she was in the company of other women. But when the young men arrived to meet Beryl and her friends, they allegedly found her in the company of Swarts and another man.

 

 

 

 

The nightmare began when the four young men were made to drive down a dark street and climb into their boot, where they would be imprisoned for more than 16 hours.

 

 

 

 

After days of working without rest, Caswell said, on Monday evening he received information that Beryl had checked out of a hotel in

Durban and had moved to a relatives’ home in the company of a young man matching the description of one of the hijackers.

 

 

Caswell and Captain “Vuni” Fourie of the KZN Provincial Task Team immediately went to work — storming Beryl’s hideout with a heavily armed team of police.

 

 

 

 

Initially the home owner, Beryl’s aunt, denied Beryl was present. She then demanded that police leave their guns outside before ¬entering her home. Finally she began screaming at police to leave, saying they were scaring her younger niece. However, on searching the home, police found Beryl hiding in a cupboard and her boyfriend hiding under a bed.

 

After Beryl and her lover were arrested, the home owner insisted that she had told them to hand themselves over to police for the ¬hijacking. Seconds after saying this, she recanted, saying she had no idea that Beryl had been involved in a murder.

 

 

Beryl and her lover denied having any stolen property in their possession, insisting that their accomplice took all the stolen property and the gun used in the hijacking. However, a search of Beryl’s property unearthed Claude Govender’s Standard Bank garage card.

 

 

 

 

While Swarts was blaming his lover for his woes, Beryl stood staring into space and promising to co-operate with police.

The boy who accused Michael Jackson of sexually abusing him in 1993 has now come forward and admitted he lied. Jordan Chandler told a psychiatrist and police that he and MJ had engaged in sexual acts that included oral sex. The case was settled out of court for a reported $22 million, but the strain of the accusations appear to be what started Michael on his road to painkiller addiction. Jordan now says, “I never meant to lie and destroy Michael Jackson but my father made me to tell only lies. Now I can’t tell Michael how much I’m sorry and if he will forgive me.” Jordan also claims he was under the influence of his father, Evan Chandler, who allegedly instructed his son to tell the lies so the family could escape poverty. “Now for the first time I can’t bare to lie anymore. Michael Jackson didn’t do anything to me, all was my father lies to escape from being poor.”

Police searching for four suspects who hijacked four Lenasia men last week

22/06/2009 http://www.lenzinfo.org.za

Police are still searching for four suspects who hijacked four men from Lenasia on Thursday night. The victims were forced into the boot of their Toyota and then driven to Durban. Forensic experts from Pretoria were flown into Durban to conduct tests on the car which the gang had abandoned in the city centre. One of the victims is still being treated for shock at a local hospital in the city while the other two men are believed to have returned to Johannesburg. The men told authorities that they were forced into the boot of their car on Thursday night. The victims managed to kick the back seat down and call for help after their attackers abandoned the vehicle on Friday afternoon. However, when paramedics arrived one of the victims had already died of suffocation.

 

Hijack survivor tells of hell boot ride

A traumatized hijack victim described on Saturday how he tried to resuscitate his younger brother as life ebbed from him in a car boot where they had been incarcerated with two other men for almost 16 hours. Claude Govender, 26, held his brother Dexter, 21, whispering encouragement and trying to blow air into his lungs. A short while later the hijack victims were freed. It was too late for Dexter, however, who was declared dead at the scene in Cross Street, Durban. "I always looked out for Dexter, but this time I could do nothing," Govender said. "I don't know how my mother is going to cope with this loss. He was her angel." The ordeal endured by the Govenders, their cousin, Gerard Govender, 21, and a close friend, Justin Pillay, 24, began at around 10pm on Thursday night, in Lenasia South, Johannesburg. Claude and Gerard said they had been en route in their silver Toyota Corolla to pick up Dexter and Justin so they could "hang out" together when they stopped at a café for snacks. A woman, who gave her name as "Beryl", approached them and asked whether she could have a lift to an address she provided. When the men dropped her off, she asked for Claude's cell phone number. A little later, once the cousins had collected Dexter and Justin, the woman called, saying she had friends she would like to introduce them to. Although the four men did not plan on a late night, because they all had to work the next day, they drove to meet the woman. "She had two men with her, and they asked us to drive them to another address," said Claude. "Then the one, who had been introduced as Graham, produced a gun. The second was armed with a golf club. They took our bank cards and cell phones and commanded us to lie down in the back of the car. Finally they stopped in a dark street and ordered us into the boot. We had to scrunch our bodies to fit in." The hijackers drove their victims around the streets of Johannesburg for several hours, stopping periodically, before taking the N3 freeway towards Durban. "After a while our bodies became numb, and we could feel that the air was running out," Gerard said. "We talked softly to one another, but when they heard us, they opened the small seat at the back, and hit Claude in the face with the butt of the gun. At one point they stopped and we could hear running water. The driver said he was going to roll the car into a river and drown us." As the hours passed, the four victims fell silent. They were battling to breathe. At around 11am on Friday the hijackers stopped at a large shopping mall and left the men in the boot in the sun for a lengthy period, before resuming their tortuous ride. One of the two men did not return to the car. "The one hijacker, who kept his face hidden, opened the flap in the seat to demand bank card pin numbers," Gerard said. "I caught a glimpse of the surroundings and it looked like Gateway." Now the men were sure they would die. Both Dexter and Justin were in respiratory distress. "They were clawing at us and mumbling incoherently," said Claude. "My brother's breathing changed and he began frothing at the mouth and choking. I kept telling him it would be all right, but he couldn't hear me." Between 2pm and 3pm the hijackers reached Durban and parked the stolen car in Cross Street, off Prince Edward. Threatening to shoot their victims if they tried to follow them, Beryl and Graham fled on foot, after agreeing to open the seat flap to let in air. "We waited a long time to be sure they really had gone, and then I squeezed through the gap in the seats and went for help," said Claude. Police and emergency personnel were at the scene in minutes, but repeated attempts to resuscitate Dexter failed. Justin is in a serious condition in hospital after suffering from dehydration and oxygen depletion. SAPS spokesman Insp Vincent Mdunge said police were following every possible lead to apprehend the hijackers.

What makes a relationship work?

 

1.      A hug everyday causes better bonding than words.

2.      Never humiliate your partner between friends, it can become a habit and cause things to end sooner than you expect.

3.      Watch how you treat your man/woman; it will be how they start to treat you in the end.

4.      When you say, "I Love you", mean it.

5.      When you say, "I'm sorry", look the person in the eye.

6.      Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

7.      After love making hold your partner and talk - it is the best time to speak your mind.

8.      If your lover was fun before and loses it, then you are not the inspiration you used to be.  Try to be that way again!

9.      Love deeply and passionately.  You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

10.  In disagreements, fight fairly.  No name calling.

11.  Don't judge people by their relatives.

12.  When you are in a serious relationship, never use the word mine, but OURS, it is the best way to express how you feel about the person.

13.  Never treat others better than your lover, others won't always be there to treat you the same.

14.  Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

15.  When you have cheated before, watch how you treat your partner afterwards; those wounds take long to heal.

16.  Never allow money to get between love, it is the route to evil.  Money can't buy love!

17.  Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; Responsibility for all your actions.

18.  Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

19.  When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

20.  Smile when picking up the phone.  The caller will hear it in your voice.

21.  Don't let someone you love ever feel you would never commit to them.

22.  If the person you love changes, ask yourself why?

23.  Watch how you speak to your lover in company, it is how they will treat you thereafter.

24.  Love does not need material things to hold things together; it needs a hug, a kiss and tons of respect.  Without these it will never last.

25.  Tell someone you love them at least once a day.

26.  Do something with your lover that will make them happy, and don't always expect them to do things that makes you happy.

27.  If there is something you can do that makes your lover laugh every time you do it, then do it quite often.

28.  Kiss your partner every time you leave for somewhere without him/her, and every time you see them again, even if you go somewhere for just ten minutes, you never know if it will be the last time you see him/her.

29.  Always hold your partner once in a while, while you are amongst people, it is the best way you will ever let them feel secure and wanted.

30.  Never shout or insult your partner in a company, it will make them start to hate you.

31.  Have sex at least four times a week; it keeps the spark glowing for much longer.

32.  Never be selfish during sex, if the other has not been satisfied, make time for it or else the person will begin feeling used.

33.  A man can only be called that if he knows how to treat his woman.

34.  A woman should always see that things are always comfortable for a man when he gets home and when he wakes up.

35.  Men!  If you want to know whether a woman would make a good wife, then look to see if she makes a good house-wife.

36.  There are three steps in a relationship, 1-falling in love, 2-being in love, 3-loving unconditionally.

37.  If you find a good woman, marry her.  Someone else might be looking for her.

38.  If you find a good man, care for him.  Many are hunting him down.

39. Spend at least two days of the month in bed all day, just making love. And find at least one day in the month to talk about your future.

 

 

 

Vote Earth and take a stand against climate change.

 

Earth Hour 2009 is a worldwide call to action to every individual, business and community to take a stand against climate change. It is being positioned as the first global election, between Earth and global warming. To show your support, sign up now and commit to switching off your lights for just one hour this Saturday, 28 March at 20:30.

 

To sign up, visit Earth Hour. Only two days are left…

http://www.earthhour.org.za/

 

Earth Hour 2009 has one goal: to unite the citizens of the world in the fight against climate change to convince governments and world leaders that our planet needs our help, right now. By registering on the Earth Hour website, your name will form part of a petition that will be sent to the Climate Change Conference in Copenhagen at the end of the year to put pressure on world leaders to pass appropriate legislation on climate change.

 

Originating in Sydney in 2007, the Earth Hour initiative had two million people coming together to switch off their lights for one hour. Following on from this success, 2008 saw an estimated 50 million people taking part. This year, it is hoped that at least 1 billion people will show their support.

 

On Saturday, Earth Hour will see the lights go out in at least 1 200 cities and towns across 80 countries, including Johannesburg and Cape Town among others! Some of the most recognised attractions on the planet will also go dark, including Cape Town’s Table Mountain, the Christ the Redeemer statue in Rio de Janeiro, the Merlion in Singapore, the Sydney Opera House, the iconic six-star hotel - the Burj al Arab - in Dubai, the Millennium Stadium in Cardiff and the world’s tallest constructed building, the Taipei 101.

 

Your vote can help Earth Hour to reach its global goal of at least one billion registered participants.

 

Be the change you want to see in the world! - Mahatma Gandhi

 

Each and every one of us can make changes in the way we live our lives and become part of the solution to climate change - Al Gore

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.' Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.' St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God. God recognized Arthur and commented, 'Okay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? ‘Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...' God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?' Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?' God said, 'Ah, yes.' 'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension

2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much

4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!

'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.' God went to his Celestial 'supercomputer', typed in a few words and waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it. 'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'

I claimed it for you - now claim it for me. God has more than a thousand ways to provide

for us, that we know nothing about. Here is your financial blessing! It's a simple prayer,

you got 30 seconds? Don't sleep on this. Someone recently read this for the first time

and Received exactly enough for a R 0 balance on all credit cards.

If you need a financial blessing, continue reading this e-mail:

“Heavenly Father, most Gracious and Loving God, I pray to You that You abundantly

bless my family and me. I know that You recognize, that a family is more than just a

mother, father, sister, brother, husband and wife, but all who believe and trust in You.

GOD, I send up a prayer request for financial blessing for not only the person who sent

this to me, but for me and all that I have forwarded this message on to. And that the

power of joined prayer by those who believe and trust in You is more powerful than

anything! I thank You in advance for Your blessings. God, deliver the person reading

this right now from debt and debt burdens.

Release Your Godly wisdom that I may be a good steward over all that You have given

me GOD, for I know how wonderful and mighty You are and how if we just obey you and

walk in your word and have the faith of a mustard seed that you will pour out blessings. I

thank You now Lord for the recent blessings I have received and for the blessings yet to

come because I know You are not done with me yet. In Jesus name Amen

TAKE 60 SECONDS and send this on quickly and within hours, you will have caused a

multitude of people to pray to God for each other. Then sit

back and watch the power of God work in your life for doing the thing that you know He

loves. Peace and Blessings...Have Faith

A Soulful Relationship
by Reverend Ronald McFadden

 

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect on it. An African proverb states, 'Before you get married, keep both eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye.'
Before you get involved and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation, immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem make you blind to warning signs. Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself that you can change someone or that what you see as faults is not really important.

 

Once you decide to commit to someone, over time their flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations, emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two unique individuals who have decided to share a life together.

 

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each other? Do you bring out the best of each other? Do you compliment and compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control? What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships, past hurt, past mistrust, past pain?

 

You can't take someone to the altar to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and 'a life', you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy, deceitfulness, neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving, healthy, loving and lasting relationship.
Seeking status, sex, wealth, and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship.

 

Q. What keeps a relationship strong?

Answer: Communication, intimacy (not sex), trust, a sense of humor, sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children and daily exchanges (a meal, a shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a note), sharing common goals and interests. Leave a nice message on their voice mail or send a nice email.

 

Growth is important. Grow together, not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances of commitment.

 

Don't try to control one another.

 

Learn each other's family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put pressure on each other for material goods.  Remember for richer or for poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain will replace the passion. "Nurture your mind with great thoughts, for you will never go any higher than you think.' The grass withers, the flowers fades, but the word of God stands forever. Isaiah 40:8.  Shall we make a new rule of life from tonight?

 

You should always try to be a little more kind to each other than necessary. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put the 'I'.  Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Life is a jigsaw puzzle....
When you first look at it, you wonder - how you're ever gonna make the pieces fit?
But, take your time. Go step by step!
As the fragments come together, you will see the picture!
It's the same with life!
Even if it seems like a mess at the start,
 every incident that happens to you, comes together and shapes it
Don't give up in between - there is a beautiful picture waiting to UNFOLD!!! 

I found myself today
I see me as I am
As the water washes down
I look for me deep, I see me true
I see me as I am

That torn hole
Is now healing…
I try to forget
I remember everything

Someone found me today
The sweetest angel
The darkness has gone away

I stand tall
I can have it all
That empire of pain has crumbled
I won’t let me down
I will stand tall
My angel helps me see through it all

I wear a smile
I wear it proud
Upon my deceivers’ face
He is nothing
He wears a frown
Filled with thoughts of his wrongs
I wore my smile and I moved on

Beneath the stairs
I see him cry
And I ask the Lord why?
Why am I still here?
Why does he pretend to care?
His existence slowly disappears

Someone found me today
That angel from before
There is no darkness
But the shadow on the floor

I stand tall
My chin up high
I twirl around
I am alive
I wear a smile
My angel smiles back at me

I feel safe again
I have healed completely
Though the scar is there
With my angel’s smile
My pain is gone

If I could do it all again
I would have it just the same
Just to ensure
I meet my angel again

Off the Sidewalk – On your marks, get steady, hands up!!!

 

My latest fascination revolves around the crime of

 

South Africa and quotes we hear from our country leaders. South Africa with its beautiful land, diverse cultures, languages, people and delicious cuisine is the perfect holiday destination for locals and foreigners. South Africa holds so many qualities that many other countries can’t compete with – our clean water, beautiful landscapes and our people but there is one other thing we have here that exceeds all other countries – OUR CRIME!!! South Africa has the highest crime rate in the world! I read an article last night about how dangerous our shopping malls are.

 

Women being attacked and raped in the bathrooms – Men hide in one of the cubicles, waiting patiently for a women to be completely alone in the bathroom room – he then storms into the cubic with her, strips her clothes off, rapes her and then takes all her belongings including her clothes out of the bathroom. At first (I guess) she must be afraid, ashamed and in more pain than one can imagine; with all the thoughts running through her mind and the shock of what just happened replaying over and over again she needs to gather up the courage to leave the bathrooms naked to seek help.

 

A more common incident – Convicts pose as car guards, policemen, traffic officers and such. They approach the victim, trying to help them with either their trolley or the fake policemen would pull them over and then attack. Killing, raping, kidnapping or even forcing the victim to take them to their homes to then raid their homes. There are so many cases where the victim was thrown out of their car and the criminals drive of with the victim’s child in the backseat. I personally don’t give car guards money nor do I let them help me with my trolley, I park in the boom-gated section of the mall and pay for my ticket, why should I pay the car guard as well? 5% of car guards actually watch your car; the other 95% only show up when you enter the parking lot and when you’re approaching your car. If they really watched the cars – lots of cars would not have gone missing from the malls, people wouldn’t be held-up in the car park, the basement parking I would say is most dangerous – it’s dark, alone and a gunshot could go off without anyone in the mall noticing.

 

The journalist that wrote the article I read last night interviewed a few people asking them for a comment on this matter. The answers that came back from three different interviewees where based only on statistics they run from September 2007 to last year. There were 624 armed robberies at shopping centres countrywide – That’s a freaken big number – 624!!! Now 69% of violent crimes in malls are armed robberies, 19% are ATM bombings, 8% are Cash-In-Transit heists and 4% are hijackings, assault, follow-homes, rape, etc. Frankly – that 100% break-down means nothing to me! I don’t care if rape and follow-homes, etc falls into the measly 4% group – that’s 4% too many for me!!! Our policemen are too busy pulling us over at 7:00am making us late for work in the morning than actually putting the criminals away. I understand that they need to check for fines and stuff but, maybe if they didn’t hide behind trees and spring up on us, we wouldn’t be speeding. Seriously now – which person actually speeds down the highway when they see cops there – NOBODY! So make yourself visible and stop the speeding then you wouldn’t need to have six police cars pulling us over – instead just one whilst the other five are fighting crime and keeping our country safe.

 

At the moment there are still a good few screws loose in the South African Cabinet, my suggestion, take a little extra care when you go out now days, these criminals have nothing better to do than to watch and time us as we go about our lives then take everything we worked so hard to get. If you’re in the mall – look around; be aware of your belongings and company. If you’re driving – watch the movements of the pedestrians, they will just spring up on you from no-where.

 

South Africa isn’t a safe country anymore – we can’t even say that there’s a slim chance of survival here – the convicts rule this country and we, the honest tax paying citizens are the prisoners that have our lives in the hands of the South African government. The government that thinks beetroot will cure AIDS, showering after unprotected sex will prevent AIDS and that having the youth kill for what they believe is right, yet don’t understand is the way to go.

My thong sunburn!!!

 

Niven suggested I join him for a round of casual golf, just having fun and relaxing through Sunday. A typical Sunday for him would be meeting the boys at the golf course, playing a few rounds, then lunch and a couple beers. Sounds like a pretty pleasant Sunday – doesn’t it???

Waking up so early, just to get to the golf course at 9:00am, “we’ll beat the mid-day sun,” he said. It had stormed the night before, so we were standing on soft muddy grounds waiting for our turn to T-off, 45 minutes gone by…and FINALLY!!! Our turn has come. The boys made marvellous shots, over the little river; closing in on the green, 135m away; we walked over, ladies all tossing their balls onto the green getting ready to putt. – Yeah I know we’re big cheaters!!! LOL

The sun, so powerful that burnt through my skin like one of those lasers in the 007 movies. The open field, to walk through in the blazing heat, the only shade are the trees on the out-skirts of the ground that home more insects than I’ve seen on the discovery channel.

This being my first golfing day, I couldn’t manage the duration of this game for the patient. Waiting for your turn, watching the concentration and skill whilst others played, and here my turn to T-off, it’s the second hole – a bee-line to the flag. “Steady yourself, feet parallel, stand up straight, bend you knees a little, then arch over slightly, don’t move your head, eye on the ball at all times, elbow straight, use your shoulders and hips to swing and hit the ball” words of advise from Niven. Deep breathes in, concentrating on lifting this ball in the air and landing on the green just as Niven did………the ball barely lifted of the ground!!! It moved ½m away from the T-off grassy thingy. My turn again; and still no major movement, a guy from the group behind ours reminds us “6 hits and pick up.”

Hole three, four and five, no different from the second, however, by the sixth I gathered some skill, the ball started lifting and even when it didn’t it moved pretty far, I managed to get to the green in 5 shots. The seventh hole – the golfing heavens let loose on their golf balls “FOUR!!!” a man shouted from miles away, the boys are running around like headless chickens trying to duck the ball. The ball lands just behind us, and then two others at once and another one that followed – it was hailing golf balls!!! “Stand under the tree” one of our friends suggested “that way if the ball does come here, the tree branches will break the speed and we’ll hear it coming” and at that point, I’m standing high on my pedestal ‘cause I’m getting better and it’s just my first day – I step into a puddle that could provide enough water to a third world African village – trying to get out but everywhere I step there’s just more water, I can’t go back from where I stood before – other players are there now and my group, being the pro-players they are, knew what kind of shoes to where, Niven had just said that it would be a casual golf course where I wouldn’t have to stress about my attire, so ¾ pants, a T and beach thongs felt comfy to me.

So here I am, approaching the 8th hole my legs wet and feeling slimed by the rainy muddy water, flip-flops are soaked!!! The heat is getting to me – I need food, I need water and Mother Nature is trying to make a call but we’re too far away from the restrooms. It’s been 3hours and I want to go home – this miserable game is just not for me, I need something fast paced and interesting like cricket. I plonked my self in the shade and watched the rest find their balls or get their balls out of the marsh; tossed of my flip-flops to reveal to light brown thong lines running across my foot!!! Never again!!! Never again will I come golfing with you guys, what a terrible game!!! My foot looks like Britney’s butt after her tan, just two little lines running across the surface!!!

I made the 8th hole in 5 shots and the 9th in 6, finally time to leave – grab a shower and food!!! Oh Food, Glorious Food, Wonderful Food, Magical Food!!!

It’s about 2pm and I feel so relieved to be leaving the golf course – off to lunch and then home to relax!!! My smile so big, not even a 6year old at a toy store could be happier – though I don’t have patience for this game, I find the rules ludicrous and I’m pee’d off because of my sunburn – I would do it all over again, if it meant me spending time with Niven – we’re too start a life together and the best way to do something you haven’t tried is to just take that chance, compromise and do something for him every now and again (he does it for me everyday) – it’s apart of his life and since his apart of mine – golf will be to – we’re playing adventure golf tonight – I can’t wait!!

In life and love don't ever play games. If you love someone, TELL them, if you don't... TELL them, the human heart is a very complex thing in that it makes us do the strangest things when it reaches a point of desperation especially when we are hurting. I'm sure many of us have reached that point where we find ourselves attacking the competition "In the name of Love" even attacking the object of your affection, some of us have even found ourselves hiding behind bushes or tagging the car playing spy. At the end of it, all relationships, whether friendships or romance needs two elements to survive – communication and compromise. It needs another two elements to fall apart - pride and stupidity. Too proud to say I'm sorry, too proud to say I'm hurting, too proud to say I'm feeling a little insecure. And so stupid, stupid enough to let them go because you think they will be back, stupid enough not to tell them that you love them because you think they will stick around longer if you play hard to get, stupid enough to not answer their calls when you have a fight because you want to make them hurt and you want to teach them a lesson they'll never forget... Watch out you are not the one who learns a lesson... If it’s worth a great Person walking out of your life, possibly for good... then by all means knock yourself out. But don't cry when that person never calls again, or finds solace in another's arms. Or throws them self off of a twenty story building because the pain you were causing them was too much to bear. (Stupid but serious) Don't cry when a beautiful relationship is broken and can't be fixed because YOU chose to play games instead of laying your cards on the table and working it out. Say exactly what you feel and ask exactly what you want to know. No matter how STUPID you sound... At least you will know exactly where you stand. And even if after you've poured your heart out and it still doesn't work out... You will be at peace because you know you did your best on your part... Your conscience will be clear and you will move on knowing that you didn't go down without a fight. Loving someone is not a game. People are not pyramids... you can't go off on your own selfish trip and expect to find them in the exact same spot you left them weeks ago. If you don't take care of your partners needs when they need you to. What guarantee do you have that somebody else won't? So when you find your partner in your best friend's arms or hear they are getting married to someone you had guaranteed was just a "rebound trip" three months after you let them go without a fight... Don't cry... Coz while you were busy playing games... Somebody else wasn't. Love without reservations; live without regrets...

AUM NAMASHIVIYA

 

**************************************************
Dear Technical Support

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from DrinkingMates 4.2, which I had used for years without any trouble.
However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.
To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications, such as LadsNightOut 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9.
Successive versions of Girlfriend proved no better.
I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks.
Eventually, I tried to run Girlfriend 1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0 at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.
I eventually upgraded to Fiancée 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be upgraded further to Wife 1.0. While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it does come bundled with CookingPlus and Cleanhouse2008.
Shortly after this upgrade, however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made were automatically stored in
Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted. They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them.
Wife 1.0 also has an automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and Multi-Whinge.
These latter products have no Help files, and I have to try to guess what the problem is.
Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express which needs to be reinstalled every other week.
Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.
Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called MotherInLaw, which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2007, but there could be problems. A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2007, it tends to delete all of your Money before uninstalling itself.

Help requested please!

**************************************************
Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the Flower and Jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5 and then installed undesirable programs such as: Football 5.0, Rugby 4.3 and Cricket 3.0.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs; it simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, to no avail.
What can I do?

Signed
Desperate

**************************************************
Dear Desperate:

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband
1.0 is an Operating System.
Try entering the command: C:/ITHOUGHTYOULOVEDME to download Tears 6.2, which should automatically install Guilt 3.0. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.

WARNING: Beer 6.1 is a very nasty program that will create Snoring Loudly.

CAUTION: Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-law. This is not a supported application and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck
Tech Support
**************************************************

What is your favourite song of all time?

"I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts" from the Lion king movie

 

If you could be someone else for a day, who would it be?

Rani Mukerji or Angelina Jolie

 

If you have friends coming for supper what would you cook?

Something yummy - depends on my cravings that day

 

What is your favourite word?

Shit

 

What makes you cry?

Sad shit

 

What makes you laugh?

Funny shit

 

If you were an animal in the wild, what would you be?

Vixen

 

If you won the lottery, how would you spend your millions?

One rand at a time

 

If you could time travel to the past to correct any mistakes you feel you’ve made would you?

No, never regret something you've done, mistake or not, god made you do it 4 a reason..................part of life’s lessons

 

Do you believe that the cup is half empty or half full?

Half full

 

Who was your hero as a child?

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

 

What do you do for fun?

Everything else other than answering a million questions

 

Are you an outdoor or an indoor person?

Depends on the activities

 

If you had only six months to live, what would you do first?

Look for a genie to grant me eternal life

 

What 3 words would your best friend use to describe you?

Sexy, Gorgeous, Untouchable

 

Where do you see yourself in five years?

I’ll let you know when I get there

 

What are you most proud of in your life?

Myself

 

Do you own any pets, and if so what do you have?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

 

Who do you admire most?

Myself

 

Do you have any tattoos, and if so what and where?

I have a tattoo, if you want to see - come to my room - I’ll show you

 

When do you plan on getting married?

When some guy asks me

 

Get the number or give the number?

Huni this is me, I give the numbers...............here's 1 for you......... :-)

 

Romance or Kinky Sex?

Grrr ... come over, I’ll tell your lips that secret

 

How do you feel?

YELLOW

 

What size shoe do you wear?

4 maybe 5 maybe 4 maybe 5 maybe 4 maybe 5...............right now my feet are kind of indecisive

 

Water or 100% Juice?

100% Juice - it’s yummier than 50% water

 

T-Mobile, U.S. Cellular, Cingular/AT&T, or Sprint/Nextel

Spraken Englace???

 

Would you rather be hot or cold?

Baby, I’m always hott

 

Would you rather lose an arm or a leg?

WTF??? Would you rather lose an arm or a leg??? I can arrange it!!!

 

Favourite Place to Eat?

Where the food is...

 

Opera, Musical, Concert, Play, Performance, or Other?

Performers use performers to ensure a great performance...

 

What is your favourite clothing brand?

The one that fits perfectly and fits my budget too

 

Most Memorable Past?

The first time I decked a guy!!!

 

Most embarrassing moment?

You know that fall Lizzy Maguire took at graduation, ja well took the same one at mine, but I did it sexier!!!

 

If you had to pick one car, which would it be?

Beemer

 

Your favourite Disney Films?

The Lion King

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Because it was horny n all the roosters where on the other side

 

Do you support Paris?

No, I support wonder bra and wonder bra supports ME

 

Where is Waldo?

In his house with granny dearest

 

Favourite element?

My thingy

 

What was your last thought?

...hmmm when will this interview end???

 

Fire fox, Internet Explorer, Netscape, or other?

Depends what's the other one??? Lol, right now I’m liking Internet Explorer

 

Who are you going to vote for in 2008?

What am I voting for??

 

Juice and crackers or milk and cookies?

Juice and cookie thank you................which Cracker Jack eats crackers??? As for milk!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yuck!!!

 

Favourite fruit?

KIWI - yummy

 

Which is worse? A bad laugh or a bad cough?

Depends on the company I’m with at the time - hott guys or stupid girls

 

Are you a cat or a dog person?

I'LL PAY FOR PEOPLE TO KEEP THEM FED, WARM AND SAFE BUT DON'T YOU DARE BRING THE NASTY BUGGERS NEAR ME

 

Would you rather be blind or deaf?

I’m partially both - don’t feel sorry for me, I like it like this, I see what I want, and hear what I want

 

Define yourself in 3 words...

Sexy, Gorgeous, Untouchable

 

Do you eat cold cereal at night?

YES!! !

 

What is your favourite TV show?

Desperate housewives

 

Kill the spider or let it out?

Murder the bastard

 

Do you shower every single day?

NO!! ! I take a bath

 

Walking past a beggar, spare change or ignore?

Depends - and inbox me to find out why

 

Boat or bus?

Depends am I travelling via sea or land???

 

What is your favourite Pj Fabric

Hmmm... PJ's??? Um people wear clothes to sleep........talk about weird!!! But I like silk-satin

 

Where do you want to travel next?

To Italy

 

What would you do if Michael Jackson asked you out?

Answer...duh!!!

 

What is your favourite food?

Indian, Italian, pizza, pasta, Chinese, chicken, fruit, basically all things that taste yummy

 

Do you read Harry potter books?

HELL NO!!!

 

What is your favourite place?

My baby's arms

 

If you could have one super human power what would you choose?

Shape-Shifting, to become Rani Mukerji or Angelina Jolie

 

Have you had a beer in the last week?

Except for on booze mail, nope - and kind of need it now

 

Vitamin Water or Gatorade?

Say wa, mofo??? I see water, so um WATER

 

Favourite body part?

My Breasts - a.k.a "the girls"

 

Flip flops or sandals?

Sexy Sandals for Sexy Feet

 

What do you do on Fridays?

The same thing we all do on Fridays, pinky - TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

 

How tall are you?

1.62m

 

Do you like bananas?

Yes, coz they yellow

 

Why is it so easy for us to hurts others?

 

People get into relationships because they want to be together, no one said it's going to be forever, but when you're leaving - there has got to be another way off cutting the ties and walking out that door... why should he/she always be in tears unsure of what happened and why?

 

Some people get suicidal after break ups, others fall sick due to lack of self-care & love. All this over a broken heart - because he/she decided to cheat, decided to leave for no reason, decided all by themselves that it wasn't going to work.

 

There are some people out there that play with other's feelings just for kicks!!! They don't care / believe in love, they don't want to commit or tie themselves down - the easiest thing for them is to pretend, LIE, pretend that you feel the same, lie about where you are, what you're doing, who you are...and what happens, the guy/girl on the other end falls for all this, builds future in their mind of what could be, trusts, loves, cares and has their heart broken.

 

The most common questions asked after/during a break up "What's wrong? What happened to us?, Why is this happening? Why are you doing this?"

 

The most common statements made in this time "I will change/adapt. I will try harder. Just give me one more chance. I can't live without you. I need you. I need you in my life. I am nothing without you. I know I can be that person you need me to be.

 

The person asking the questions and making those statements 99.99% of the time is you - the person with a broken heart. You loved so much it's hurting you now, you gave so much you feel empty now, you're hurting so much the only cure is ending you're life - just because it will NEVER be the same without that person - that lying, cheating, scheming person you gave all your precious time to.

 

Why should you change? There is nothing wrong with you, if there was that person that told you he/she cared, they wouldn't have even taken a second look at you.

 

You want to try harder? Harder at what? Trying even harder not to see their wrongs!!!

 

And now you're begging for another chance! Get off you're knees, give yourself some respect, they are the ones walking out, they are the ones that are incapable of handling the relationship, all they wanted was a fun ride and a passers-by trophy (someone to show-off at parties).

 

You need, want and can't be anything without them!!! OH HELL NO!!! So who the f*ck were you before? How did you survive before you met them? You're life is over, WAKE UP!!! Your live has just upgraded its systems and is now rebooting and ready for even more challenges!

 

100% of the time, we act like complete idiots, throwing ourselves at these people unworthy of our time, making ourselves even more foolish. 80% of the time they come back, promising you stuff as you've just promised your life to them and guess what it's the same SH1TTY soap opera, you're tuned into the re-run channel. All the heartache, disappointment, etc all back and hey - you asked for it!!!

 

Solution

1.    Set your goals.

1.1.                    This is what I want for myself,

1.2.                    This is the type of person that would fit in with my lifestyle,

1.3.                    This is the future I want to have.

 

2.    Now live your life.

2.1.                    Do the things you wanted to do,

2.2.                    Be the person you choose to be,

2.3.                    Aim for that future you plan to have.

 

3.    Someone new comes into your life.

3.1.                    Be the person you are – they will have to love you as you are or leave and miss out on the opportunity of knowing you,

 

3.2.                    Tell them about the things you do in you live, the type of lifestyle you have,

3.3.                    Speak about your future,

3.4.                    Listen to what they are aiming on achieving,

3.5.                    COMPROMISE!!! – The second most import thing in a relationship! Everything is about give and take, give a little here, and take a little there. This does NOT mean you need to change who you are, its simple – just alter slight things.

 

Example: I leave the toothpaste on the sink instead of in the cupboard (where it belongs) [this bothers him] and he leaves his shoes lying around the house [this bothers me]. I will try a little harder to put things away after using them as he will try harder at picking up after himself and if we slip at times, DON’T argue!!! Just do it yourself!!! Pick up the shoes, put the toothpaste away yourself and DON”T by all means DON”T complain about having to do it ‘cause if you do pack your sh1t up and leave! That is not compromise.

3.6.                    TRUST – this will be hard; you’ve been cheated on or lied to, whatever! But the person you’re with didn’t make the mistake so don’t punish them for what your ex did. Let your current know that you feel insecure in certain situations, open honest COMMUNICATION is always best.

3.7.                    COMMUNICATION – the first most important rule in life as well as relationships. Ask and thou shall receive – it works with everything in life. Ask questions, “oh so it’s a boys/girls night out, where will you be going, who will be there, when will you be back, I do feel comfortable with X, X and X, could we work on a way around it?” Firstly this keeps the honesty in the relationship which builds the trust. And if you don’t want to know the answer to something’s – don’t ask the question people. I always get caught out with this, I’m curious to know more and when I find out, I’m upset as I knew I would be.

 

Time rules our lives, its sooo valuable. The gift of time is of more expense than the gift of a car, holiday home it’s even more valuable than the gift of love. Humans can love anyone and everyone they choose to, love can never run out – we have plenty to give and in the right company, you receive plenty. Time however is limited – we have just enough time to live our lives and do the deeds God has placed us here to do, so when you give someone your time, even if it’s two minutes, just ask yourself, is this person willing to give me two minutes of theirs? If I cry for someone or miss someone – in that time are they crying for / missing me? If time where an organ that could be donated in units, who would donate a unit to you?

Columbus mistakes manatees for mermaids

 

Italian explorer Christopher Columbus, sailing near the Dominican Republic, sees three "mermaids"--in reality manatees--and describes them as "not half as beautiful as they are painted." Six months earlier, Columbus (1451-1506) set off from Spain across the Atlantic Ocean with the Nina, Pinta and Santa Maria, hoping to find a western trade route to Asia. Instead, his voyage, the first of four he would make, led him to the Americas, or "New World."

 

Mermaids, mythical half-female, half-fish creatures, have existed in seafaring cultures at least since the time of the ancient Greeks. Typically depicted as having a woman's head and torso, a fishtail instead of legs and holding a mirror and comb, mermaids live in the ocean and, according to some legends, can take on a human shape and marry mortal men. Mermaids are closely linked to sirens, another folkloric figure, part-woman, part-bird, who live on islands and sing seductive songs to lure sailors to their deaths.

 

Mermaid sightings by sailors, when they weren't made up, were most likely manatees, dugongs or Steller's sea cows (which became extinct by the 1760s due to over-hunting). Manatees are slow-moving aquatic mammals with human-like eyes, bulbous faces and paddle-like tails. It is likely that manatees evolved from an ancestor they share with the elephant. The three species of manatee (West Indian, West African and Amazonian) and one species of dugong belong to the Sirenia order. As adults, they're typically 10 to 12 feet long and weigh 800 to 1,200 pounds. They're plant-eaters, have a slow metabolism and can only survive in warm water.

 

Manatees live an average of 50 to 60 years in the wild and have no natural predators. However, they are an endangered species. In the U.S., the majority of manatees are found in Florida, where scores of them die or are injured each year due to collisions with boats.

Height of Desperation

A vampire sucking on a tampon.

Height of Patience
A naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.

Height of Frustration
A boxer trying to scratch his balls.

Height of Innocence
A teenage girl applying Clearasil to her nipples.

Height of Unemployment
Cobwebs in the hole of a prostitute.

Height of Laziness
A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.

Height of Competition
A guy peeing beside a waterfall.

Height of Sophistication
Sucking nipple with a straw.

Height of Technology
A condom with a zip.

Height of Trouble
A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his ass is itching.

Height of Vanity
Climaxing and calling out your own name.

Height of Boredom
You're still reading this...

 

hehehe - have a fab day peepz